If I Had a Million Dollars…

I’d probably give it to The Manimal, because he’s clearly far smarter than I am.

I’m pretty sure that my readers who don’t know me IRL are sure that I
a) really only have one child, that the oldest and youngest are figments of my imagination.
or
b) love my middle child more than the other two because it seems I only write about him.
or
c) do, in fact, have three children, but the oldest and youngest are perfect children and never do anything remotely worth mentioning.

I’d like to state, for the record, that none of these are true. I do indeed have three children, love them all equally, and none of them are perfect.

However, I’m also sure that all of my IRL friends will agree that the antics of the aforementioned middle child are just too stinking funny not to mention. And he just keeps them coming.

Last week after dinner I was enjoying a bowl of ice cream. The Manimal saw it and this conversation began…

Manimal: “I want ice cream!”
Me: “No, you had ice cream last night and already had a treat tonight.”
Manimal: “Pleeeeaaaase can I have ice cream?!”
Me: “No, you had a treat already.”
Manimal: “Pleeeeaaaase?!”
Me: “No, and please don’t ask again.”
Manimal: “But please makes everything better.”
Me: “No, you should always say please, but that doesn’t mean you always get what you want.”
Manimal: “Pleeeeaaaase can I have ice cream?!”
Me: “Manimal, can I have a million dollars?”
Manimal: (laughing) “No, mommy!”
Me: “Pleeeeaaaase can I have a million dollars?”
Manimal: “No, mommy!”
Me: “But please makes everything better.”

There was silence for a moment. Which, of course, only meant that he was pondering the best answer to this.

Manimal: “But mommy, you HAVE ice cream that you can give me.”

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