This is the first year that The Manimal has been really excited about Christmas. He loves the tree and Christmas lights, and sort of gets the whole Santa concept. In the Diva home, Santa gives each child one toy for Christmas, usually something he REALLY wants. The rest of the gifts come from family.
Sweet Son #1 was easy. He’s 8 and old hat at this Santa stuff. We figured The Manimal would be easy too, since EVERY.SINGLE.TOY.COMMERCIAL ends with him saying “I need dat!”. Notice the “need” instead of “want”? We have some serious work to do with this kid on priorities…
He’s really big into Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Thomas the Tank Engine, so we felt certain that his Christmas list would include something from those toy lines. We even did some early Santa intervention and suggested that he might bring the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Raceway.
So when I asked The Manimal what he wanted Santa to bring him for Christmas, you can imagine my surprise at his response. The conversation went something like this…
Mom: “Manimal, what do you want for Christmas this year?”
The Manimal: “Uhhmmm….I tink I want…MUD!”
M: “Manimal, mud is not a toy.”
TM: “Yes! I tink mud!”
M: “Santa will not bring you mud.”
TM: “Yes! I want MUD!”
M: “Mud is dirty. You can’t play with it in the house. What else do you want for Christmas?”
TM: “Uhhmmm…I tink…mud annnddd….MUD!”
I rapidly deduced that any further conversation about Christmas gifts or the illogicity of mud as one of them would get me nowhere.
I tried a different tack.
M: “Manimal, you have to be a good boy. Santa doesn’t bring presents to naughty boys.”
TM: “Yes. Santa bring MUD.”
I do have a few options. All of them include getting Santa’s elves one of a dozen recipes for “clean mud” (most of which, oddly enough, seem to include large amounts of toilet paper) and making sure the big guy throws in a few large plastic tablecloths and a Tupperware container, because there is no.freakin.way that I’m letting the boy play with real mud in the house.
Not after the paint incident…