“Don’t sit on the dog’s head!”
P3, our dog, is a saint. We adopted her at 8 weeks, so she’s never really known anything else, but The Manimal, who had just turned one when we got her, is a bit, well, rough. He sits on her head, pulls her tail, and pushes her out the door. All is forgiven, however, because he is also her main source of treats.
“Remember, the broom is for sweeping the floor, nowhere else.”
The Manimal loves to “help mommy”, including sweeping. Unfortunately, he does not limit his sweeping to the floor. It often appears that he is fencing some unseen opponent, and in the process, wreaking havoc with the broom/epee.
“Don’t bite my butt!”
Does this really need explanation? They have both bitten me THERE. I guess because I’m 5’10”, my backside is mouth level for toddlers.
“WHY did you poop on the footstool?”
We’re potty training. ‘Nuff said
“WHY did you poop on the floor?”
We’re potty training. Clearly the boy doesn’t understand that poop goes in the potty.
“Get off your brother’s head!”
I have two boys. Whenever they’re together for more than 2 minutes, some sort of wrestling is bound to ensue.
“No, you can’t have chocolate cookies for breakfast.”
Although I confess to occasionally considering them, a la Bill Cosby.
“Mommy’s shoes are not for dog poop.”
He decided since his brother used the Pooper Scooper to clean up the backyard, that he would use my shoes. Fortunately I caught him BEFORE he did the deed.
“Don’t touch the poop!”
See previous references.
“Pianos are not ladders!”
Apparently, boys like to climb.
What have you said that you never dreamed you’d hear?